It's not always easy

Oliver has a preschool classmate who is also in his Sunday school class. Seems like they would be really good friends, right? Well, no. The problem is that Oliver's best friend in preschool doesn't really like the other little boy. From what I understand, they've never really played together, so it's more likely a lack of communication that is getting in the way of a friendship. Whatever the reason, because Oliver's best friend doesn't like the other little boy, that means that Oliver doesn't play with the other little boy at preschool, or at Sunday school, either.

I think that's wrong. It's dumb when it happens in middle school, but it's even dumber when it happens in preschool.

I knew this was going on and I felt that it wasn't right and that I needed to talk to Oliver about it. It's a small issue now, but can lead to bigger and bigger issues later on. But he's only five years old, and I wasn't sure what to say or how to say it in a way that wouldn't be confusing or giving him too much information . . . I wanted him to be receptive and not start to tune me out as he's so apt to do sometimes. ;-)

I was praying about it a couple of weeks ago, and God tapped me on the shoulder and gave me the words to say. And when I talked to Oliver, I was able to get my point across simply and help him see his classmate's need for a friend. Oliver was pumped up about being a good friend to the other boy, and decided that he was going to play with him during Sunday school, and also try to invite him to be on his team at preschool.

Sunday school went well, and Oliver and the other boy played together. Then, after preschool a couple of days later, Oliver told me that he tried to get the other boy on his team, but his best friend didn't want to include him. Oliver said he tried to change his best friend's mind, but his friend still didn't like the other boy and Oliver kind of gave up on trying.

I was torn between requesting again that Oliver make the right choice, versus forgetting about it. It seems like such a big issue for a five year old! They should only be worrying about which color marker to use, or which socks to wear -- simple things. Then God spoke to me once again and reminded me that His ways are not always easy, but they are the best ways. That it's more important for Oliver to show His love by being a friend to a child who needs a friend than for Oliver to turn his back and let that child feel left out. God gave me the words to say again, and I talked to Oliver, and once again he was receptive and more than willing to try to be a friend to that boy.

The following week (last week), Oliver's best friend was not at preschool, so Oliver had the chance to invite the other boy on his team again. Their teacher said that the other boy was so happy to be included, and he and Oliver played together very well, along with another of Oliver's good friends. That was great news!

Then yesterday morning, the kids and I got to school a little bit early. When we walked in the building, the other boy was already there, and he jumped up to tell Oliver hi. The boys started talking and then ran off to the classroom together. Oliver's best friend showed up a couple of minutes later, and he told Oliver hi, but ignored the other boy. Right then, Oliver told his best friend that they needed to invite the other boy on their team, and that if they didn't let him on the team, Oliver was going to start his own team with the other boy on it. His best friend looked kind of puzzled, like he was going to say no, but after a minute he shrugged and said it would be okay. (Yay!)

When I picked Oliver up from school, I asked him how things went during recess and play time. He said that everyone played together just fine with no problems at all that day, and also on the next school day.

I am so proud of my big boy. Such hard lessons to learn at such a young age! It might not be such a big deal to Oliver, but I'm proud of him for taking the time to be considerate and make playtime easier for his classmate. I don't like that he has to deal with this so early, but I'm thankful for a loving God who is there to help me and my hubby find the right way to talk to our son and help him grow into the considerate, kind man that I pray he will become!